Dating & Making them Relationships #01 Time
Okay so what would you say makes a relationship? In this short blog i’m just going to be talking about time. Why time? Well for anything to develop, to grow to become something more there needs to be time. This is something that gets tricky but it really is simple and it’s helped me realise why i was not satisfied when it came to past relationships…
When you're dating someone it’s perfectly okay to see each other once or a couple times a week… But when you start liking someone, you become captivated by them and so you want to spend more time with each other. This is called investing. Investing is important when turning dating into something a little more serious or committed does not mean it cannot be just as fun, yet it’s the thing that scares us especially men and it causes us to withdraw.
You should only invest as much time into someone as they are willing to with you, this is a KEY factor to stop you from getting hurt. IT’s not a game of trickery! It’s simply only giving as much as you're willing to give the person thats is willing to only give you that much of their time. Still be fun and warm to show them just how amazing you are, but do not give more than they give you. Now of course when you're transitioning into the next phase of being in a relationship you will need to test this out, give a little more to see if they give a little more and vise versa.
When you're seeing a guy that you really like and you're seeing them twice a week, it feeds you… by this i mean it gives your just enough to not want to or feel the need to look else where. So you're not hungry ‘lol’ … Soon that becomes not enough, you need more we need to feel like as human beings that we are creating, developing, growing and moving forward. So and here comes it, if you need more you need to be more than just satisfied… If the other person is not willing to give you more, be kind, understanding (wait for it)... just say well i’d really like to keep seeing you, but i’d also like to keep my options open and maybe start dating other people.
Thats exactly what you do… I had been in a relationship for a few years it went from someone giving me lots of their time to them giving me so little… i was unsatisfied, but because you love them and enjoy the time they do give to you, you stick it out and wait and hope things will get better. I went from dating to relationship to what felt like i was back to only dating someone yet investing a lot more than i should've because that person was only giving me so much of their time. So, it’s important to be consistent and set boundaries within your self of what you deem you need from the relationship, if there is no compromise then get out it, it’s not worth it… You should not invest your emotions, your thoughts, your heart into something/Someone who is not investing just as much back in return.
My relationship had many factors, but i feel that time was the number one key thing! And its something i set out saying in the beginning and that other person was not able to deliver or work on it, and so it’s time to get back out there. Relationships are tricky, difficult, but they are necessary for us to grow. I have learnt a lot from my past relationships and i will continue to grow with my future ones. They reflect and contrast who we are as people and what we must learn to get to that good match. So do not allow your past to ruin your future.
Practice on time. IT’s the number one thing that you can give to someone else and it makes all the difference. Some couples get into things super fast and give a lot of time, this is unhealthy also as you still need to do things separately, you still have your own goals, ambitions, dreams and lives away from your significant other… it’s important to remember that, do things together but always make time for yourself
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